
Many may be quick to dismiss this
position as the ranting of scientists; but experts are coming up with
more evidence on the effect of the rigours of modern life on the male
and female libido, which suggests nothing but the negative.
Consultant Gynaecologist, Dr. Tunji
Ekunjimi, says stress has effects on every facet of human life,
especially fertility, hence its role in reducing libido in men and women
should not come as a surprise to anyone.
Ekunjimi states that those who work long hours or hold stressful jobs are more likely to express a diminished interest in sex.
“Stress is one of the major symptoms we
observe in patients who complain of low libido or performance in the
bedroom. They are likely to be working for long hours without much rest
or sleep at night.
“Those who do not work long hours may
have stressful jobs, such that they have to make decisions. Like the
Chief Executive Officer of a company may not work for long, but his/her
job is stressful. He/she will be under psychological stress and it will
crop up during love-making,” Ekunjimi says.
The effect of stress on libido is worse
in men. According to him, men are more likely to give up sex than women
when they are under pressure or tension.
Ekunjimi quickly adds that this, however, does not suggest that women cope better under pressure compared to men.
He advises couples to tackle low libido headlong, adding that if not checked, it could eventually lead to erectile dysfunction.
“Once you realise that stress is
affecting your family life, you must do something about it. Low libido,
if not treated, may lead to erectile dysfunction, which is more serious.
“In fact, it can lead to social problems
like divorce or polygamy. It will eventually affect your family. A
little problem that can be managed in the bedroom can escalate if you
don’t take it seriously,” the physician says further.
You need not resort to stimulants or
aphrodisiacs to remedy this situation. Experts say that simple lifestyle
changes like adjusting your sleep and rest pattern could do the magic.
What better time to get your groove back
than this beautiful weekend! Here are some interesting activities that
you can do with your spouse to right the wrong.
Workout
Thirty minutes of physical activity most
days of the week works like magic. Exercise has many benefits beyond
helping to raise testosterone. Exercise has been shown to increase
sexual desire; no medicine has been shown to do that conclusively.
You will want a mix of cardio and
weight-training exercises to get a full body workout. Exercise helps
both libido and testosterone in numerous ways and can improve heart
health and aid weight management.
Male sexuality is intimately related to
heart health. In fact, difficulty achieving or keeping erections can be
an early warning sign of heart disease, with a coronary artery disease
event likely to occur two to five years after the onset of erectile
dysfunction.
Weight loss can help as well; losing
weight will improve testosterone and libido. Androgen, a hormone
essential to normal sexual development in men, increases at a greater
rate in men who lose weight. Exercise can help you meet your weight
goals and as a bonus, exercising with your sex partner in a way you both
enjoy can be very stimulating.
Get more sleep
Your body is a testosterone factory, with
its greatest production during a night of uninterrupted sleep. Sleeping
may not be the initial reason you want to be in bed, but enhancing the
quality of your sleep can also enhance those other activities. Keep your
sleeping space cool, dark, and inviting for both sex and sleep. Be
creative and add little touches with music, candles, and textures that
allow you to set a sexy mood but also support sound sleep.
Getting more sleep and exercise can help reduce stress and restore lost libido.
Reduce your calories
In line with weight loss, a diet that’s
low in calories and fat, high in protein, and has a reduced amount of
carbohydrate can improve testosterone and improve desire. The
Mediterranean-style diet, which features plenty of fish, healthy fats
(such as olive oil), whole grains, vegetables, fruits and dairy, is one
such diet. Changing your diet and watching portion sizes can also help
with weight management.
Tackle bad habits
Those little indulgences you secretly
know are bad for you — smoking cigarettes, drinking a little too much
alcohol, or even a post-dinner coffee — can add up to lost desire. Quit
smoking and avoid second-hand smoke; drink moderately, if at all; and
give up caffeine after midday to improve your sex life — and your sleep.
The prescription for reclaiming your sex
life is a lot like the prescription for overall health. You’ll be
looking and feeling better than ever, in bed and out, as you work on
these five strategies for improving libido.
Focus on the positive
Remember those fabulous qualities you
noticed in your partner when you started dating? Time and stress may
have brought their less-favourable traits into sharper focus, says
psychologist Elizabeth R. Lombardo, PhD. But their good qualities are
probably still there.
Fixating on the negatives wouldn’t have
worked in the beginning and it doesn’t work now. “In marriage, it’s easy
to freeze your partner into a fixed perception. Get out of that,” says
Sherrie Campbell, PhD. a marriage and family therapist in Yorba Linda,
California.
Make a list of what you fell in love with
and another list of good things you’ve discovered over time. “Publicly
brag about those amazing qualities your partner has,” Campbell says.
“Refrain from making him the brunt of a joke. Embrace his positive
qualities and let him know you’ve fully got his back.”
Touch
“So many couples hold back kissing,
touching, or holding each other until they have time or the desire to
have sex,” says Meyers. But that’s a mistake. Researchers have found
that affectionate touch boosts the body’s feel-good hormones.
Hug your partner. Hold hands. Be playful with touch.
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